The Comfort of trusting God.
I felt as much to blame as anything else for Renée’s now obvious misery. It was time for outside help. We needed someone who could reach her. It had to be someone who could get her back on course, and as I thought it over, I knew just the person.
Rachel, was the wife of the assistant pastor at our church, and there was no doubt she had a calming ‘big sister’ kind of effect on Renée. I was sure that Rachel could help as I turned over in my mind the many examples of their relationship and the mutual love and respect between them. Renée needed to talk to someone like her, and I knew Rachel would be loving but tough, and would unselfishly go the extra mile if need be.
I wasn’t sure how to approach Renée about it. The direct approach seemed right.
When we were alone and could talk freely, I sat down with Renée and looked her straight in the eye.
I said to her, “I think you have two choices.” I hesitated, looking deeply into her tender brown eyes. I could see the tears welling up and the lines of pain in her face.
I wondered how I could have been so completely blind to her now very obvious anguish and pain.
“Either you get in the car and go see Rachel or…”
I swallowed hard and took a deep breath,
“…I will put you in the car and take you over there.”
I was desperate. She dropped her gaze and said…
“Okay… okay, you’re right. I need help. I have questions… I… okay, okay… I will call her and see if she can see me as soon as possible.”
On the Road to Recovery.
And so, her recovery started that very day.
Renée and Rachel shared together, they prayed together, and they cried together. They began to meet every week and Renée began to turn around almost immediately.
She came home with assignments from Rachel. Things to do with each of us. Renée began spending time alone with each of our other children, slowly beginning again, to appreciate and cherish her family… Jamie and Jon… and don’t forget Jim.
She was no longer frightened of Jessica. In fact, it was at that time that we all grew closer together and closer to Jessica and she became our ‘very special child’, our ‘blessed one’. We had never been more at peace.
At last, Renée was able to completely give Jessica up to God. The deeper meaning of her middle name, ‘consecrated to God,’ was truly fulfilled then, as it remains to this very day.
Unconditional Trust.
We had learned an important lesson in spite of our tragedy.
The God that Renée had met as a high schooler, and I had met at the age of 20, was still there loving us unconditionally.
There was an indescribable joy that is difficult to describe, in the comfort of learning to trust God in our sorrows .
We now knew, that no matter what the future would bring, we would be all right. Life in our little world was much brighter and we knew that we could love Jessica unconditionally, just like God loved us.
Now we treasured even more greatly, the three children, that had blessed our lives.
This whole disaster had taught us a valuable and critical lesson… a lesson that we would dearly treasure and cling to over and over, in the dark days ahead.
Jessica was at last, truly ‘consecrated to God.’
Next Week: “Staggering Forward… the Impact on Our Family.”
I will continue to share the answers to the question “What happened to Jessica?” every Monday in the weeks ahead. When I have received sufficient feedback and questions, I will add a Thursday episode, as needed, to this blog, focused on answering your questions and comments.
Thanks for your interest.
Jim, Renee & Jessica