Preparing for ‘Our Crusade.’ After obtaining all of the details about the ‘Vaccine Injury Act’ we were ready to begin. Remember, this is before the internet, and there were no handy websites to help us. Today there are many resources available through the ‘world-wide-web,’ as well as books and guides. We knew one thing for sure. We needed to find a lawyer… a good one to help us with the fairly complex procedures and documents we would have to submit. I began to ask around and find someone who would take up ‘our crusade.’ I mentioned this to a co-worker who immediately said, “I know just the guy. He goes to my church. His name is Robert Aldridge.”  I thought, ‘another Robert,’ remembering Dr. Robert Burton, who our working with had always been a delight. It’s intriguing to me, that if you look up the meaning of the name ‘Robert,’it literally means ‘bright fame.’ So far it had worked out very well, and so I called and scheduled an appointment. Another ‘Jessica adventure’ was about to begin. One that would become very, very important for our future. We were starting to see some light at the end of our tunnel. The entire ‘Vaccine Injury Act’ thing, seemed like a fairly straight forward process. “Surely this can’t take very long,” I had said to Renée confidently… …boy was I wrong! Our Day in Court…at Last! One and a half years later, I sat in the courtroom, nervously fidgeting with my pad and pen, as the Judge began to speak, “I am going to rule on this case right now without further delay.” My heart was in my throat. It was May 21, 1991. We had just concluded our case after many, many months of battles and twists and turns, as we struggled against the United States Department of Justice, to prove our case. I had done all of my own research and helped our lawyer prepare our case. We had a unique situation. We had been in the same location and had maintained the continuity of our medical care. All of the doctors and medical records were readily available, and over the years, we had been exhaustive in our elimination of other possible causes. Our Case was Too Good! That was exactly the problem. Read more…

The photographer from afar… a smile. “Mr. Walker,” said the eager young voice on the phone. “I am working on a story about how you and your neighbors banded together and removed the snow from your street and uh… I was wondering if you would be willing to be interviewed. You know, for the article?” she finished, sounding hopeful. I turned this new information over in my mind. Was this for real? “Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?” I finally said. “I’m sorry Mr. Walker. I am calling from the Idaho Statesman newsroom,” she said, sounding embarrassed, “I am an assistant reporter on staff, and yes, I really am working on this story for publication.” How odd I thought, that anyone out there would be interested in what seemed like a perfectly logical and mundane thing to do… hmmm. “Well okay,” I said. “Sure.” I was feeling rather amused at the whole idea. This must be that ‘15 minutes of fame’ I keep hearing about. Some ‘expert’ has said that everyone in their lifetime gets their fifteen minutes of fame in the public eye, and I guess I was going to be famous for snow removal! ‘How amazing!’ I thought. And so, I did the interview. Jessica Continuing to Improve. During that same time, Jessica had continued to respond and become much more engaged in her daily life. Sometimes it took the form of protesting angrily and hollering and showing a little temper. On New Years day, She sat up unsupported. Clasping her hands in front of her, and much to our delight, she sat bolt upright, once again looking rather pleased with herself. I am not really sure how the word got around. Maybe it was from our therapist or our nutritionist, but one of the things that Jessica would do from the very beginning was eat well. Therefore we filled her full of every good thing we could, supplementing her pureed diet with vitamins and supplements, and she responded very well. We had her drink from a bottle with a heavy rubber nipple to improve the muscle tone in her lips. We also followed special procedures with her spoon feeding, to train her tongue, to trying to proactively control,the always present choking hazard. Read more…

Unraveling the ‘Mystery.’ A wise old sage once said… “Doctors are like plumbers… some are real artists of their trade, while others… well, let’s just say, their pipes leak!”  After consulting and working with over 60 medical experts and doctors in the first two to three years of Jessica’s life, I would have to agree, it is a mixed bag. Members of the medical profession, in my mind, are no longer up there on a pedestal. They are not infallible. An Amazing Gifted Doctor. There are, however, some very unselfish and dedicated doctors out there. Some of them very bright. One such is Dr. Robert C. Burton, or as he once said to us… “… not the actor, you know, I am the other one.”  He was a delightfully humorous and refreshing personality and an absolutely brilliant neurologist. Dr. Burton was the founding partner at Neurology Associates, coincidently the very same practice who had, through Dr. Williams, done Jessica’s first EEG. He had also been the Director of Children’s Medicine at the MAYO Clinic for more than a decade. When other neurologists would go to a seminar, Dr. Burton was one of the people they were going to hear speak. He once had made medical history by determining that rabies had been transmitted in an eye cornea transplant, against all odds and in spite of the skepticism of his contemporaries. It was the first time such a thing had ever happened or at least was correctly diagnosed. He was an uninhibited and brilliant thinker not affected by prevailing medical biases. He became one of the vital keys to our solution of the ‘Jessica mystery’ and an important cog in our future adventures. A Lighted Candle in the Darkness. One Monday morning, Renée answered the phone… “Hi Renée, this is Carolyn. I saw something on TV last night that made me think of you guys and little Jessica…” she paused. Carolyn was a friend from church and also a former registered nurse, who was very familiar with our predicament. “I think you should check it out,” she went on with excitement in her voice. “There was a little boy on the show that sounded like he had the exact same problem as Jessica!” she breathlessly finished. “Did you see it?” Later that evening when I came home from work, Renée shared the information with me. Read more…

Staggering forward…  What do you do when you are faced with a situation that has no easy solution? No ‘quick fix’. No ‘medical breakthrough.’ No ‘miracle’ cure. No ‘diagnosis.’ No ‘explanation.’ You talk to dozens of doctors and specialists and get the same puzzled looks and quizzical expressions, usually followed by… “Well, she certainly is a mystery.” There was no end in sight. What would you do? Here’s what we did. We staggered forward. We knew that Jessica ‘the blessed one’ was a very special person loved by God, and we loved her all the more tenderly as the years passed by. Renée and I and our children, Jamie and Jon, formed a ferocious bond of love with this petite little girl who does not speak, nor in her early years, even sit up or roll around. We could sense her strong little spirit behind her disabilities, and we showered her with our love and attention. I think it could be said that, if love could cure her she would be cured. And this mysterious little stranger gave us many unforgettable lessons in ‘unselfish love.’ Hold on Tight. All the while Jessica endured the tests and probing and poking, and the days inched slowly by, turning into months and the months into years. We staggered forward, growing closer and closer together, helping each other cope, holding on tight and trusting the wisdom of God. I remember that day in the hospital when we first met and she grabbed my finger tight and held on so fiercely, as if to say…’ hold on tight dad!’ Our friends and our faith in God comforted us and we went slowly forward, measuring Jessica’s progress in the minutest of terms. “I think she looked… noticed… reached out to me… today!” Her life was in perpetual slow motion. The ‘Mysterious Villain’ Eludes Us Daily. Of course, the ‘search’ continued unabated for the mysterious villain that had harmed her, and we never stopped looking for the answer. Sometimes, when we were exhausted mentally and physically we would be feeling like quitting… then one look into Jessica’s eyes, and sharing a look with her, was all it took to keep going and going and going. When you have a ‘handicapped’ or ‘special’ child, sometimes in your dreams at night you see her running and laughing and playing and the joy in your heart is indescribable. Read more…

Hitting the Wall… Denial and Anger. My wife Renée, is a very loving and special person and it was frustrating to see her suffer so deeply. The ‘perfect’ life that she had wanted and worked towards, was slowly and inevitably spinning out of control. She was like a top that was starting to wobble… a sure sign of the crash that was coming. As the tests mounted and the list of medical experts grew with the same puzzling results and no sure answers, the panic mounted in her heart and soul. ‘Why? Why was this happening?’ In her mind she was crying out to God. ‘No! NO! Lord, how could you allow this to happen?’ I guess you could say she was in denial, refusing to believe what was becoming slowly more obvious. Jessica might never recover from this mysterious ailment. To consider that Jessica’s problems were permanent was just too much for her. Eventually, guilt began to take hold of her, as she asked herself the old questions, stoked by her painful childhood memories of rejection by her own mother… ‘What have I done?’ ‘Lord, why are you punishing me?’  ‘How have I failed You?’ Into Personal Despair. As Renée was sucked deeper into despair, was also the same time that Jessica began several forms of therapy, sometimes alone, other times with other handicapped and ‘retarded’ children. As she became acquainted with the whole scene she told herself… ‘Jessica is not abnormal… she doesn’t belong here!’  She was feeling increasingly desperate. Her despondency made even the simplest tasks seem insurmountable. She became more unengaged with our other children. She was unable to function as a loving wife and mother. She was trapped in a nightmare and she couldn’t wake up. As time crawled slowly by in the seemly endless routine of therapy and doctors and genetic tests and more tests and more puzzled expressions, she was feeling more and more emotionally drained, and then her anger showed up! Feeling Abandoned & Angry. She was feeling abandoned by God and became increasingly angry at Him. She actually became frightened of Jessica and confused and overwhelmed by her baby’s grim future. Not sure she had the courage to cope, she began to retreat from everything she held dear… her family and friends… church… and most importantly of all from God. Read more…