Two Different Perspectives… Renée’s parents divorced when she was about three and she spent a number of years in foster homes separated from her father and brother. During that time in her life she began having re-occurring nightmares about her alcoholic mother. Her mother had actually kidnapped her when she was a child… more than once. These disturbing dreams would continue to haunt her clear up through her high school years. When she was at last reunited with her father and brother, shaken and insecure, she felt that she had to prove herself worthy of their love. With a child’s tender faith, her first prayer was, “Please God, don’t let anything happen to my daddy!” Renée resolved in her heart to be the perfect daughter and sister and to never give anyone a reason not to love her. The Perfect Wife… When we met, married and started our family, she extended her resolve to be the ‘perfect’ wife and mother. Remembering her painful past, she had fixed in her mind the idea that she would be the ideal loving mother, who would nourish her little children and protect them from all harm. Then Jessica entered our lives, and she found herself facing the ultimate challenge. Renée’s ‘Haunting Past’ Returns… As Jessica’s life turned more and more away from the normal, the demons of Renée’s past returned to haunt her. Her world was beginning to unravel and there was very little she could do to control it. This was an all too familiar feeling and she was slowly devastated. We moved through a constant world of doctors and tests and puzzled looks and exhaustion. When would this be over? She couldn’t bear the thought. In the ‘Jaws of the ‘Beast…’ Jessica lay sleeping calmly in the jaws of the enormous CAT scan machinery. She looked so very normal lying there in the dimly lit room, wearing her little pink dress, white frilly socks and patent leather shoes. There was a slight clicking sound and a bright red cross-hair appeared from above, centered on her tiny forehead. Then, a slight whirring could be heard as her metallic bed moved imperceptibly. The whole scene was once again very surreal like a bad science fiction movie… but all too real. Renée’s head was spinning with a torrent of emotions as she watched from a distance. Read more…

Electroencephalogram (EEG) The big day dawned brightly and the recent heavy snowfall began to melt, as the day turned into a rather balmy, sunny day for early January. We bundled Jessica up and headed down to our 8:30 am appointment. We had kept her up as late as possible the night before, as they had instructed us, so that she would sleep through her ‘EEG’. We would be testing her brain functions. ‘Electroencephalogram,’ or EEG, was another new term for us. It was something we had vaguely heard of but had never experienced. It basically measures ongoing electrical activity in the brain. The measurements are accomplished by placing a number of electrodes, actually pasting them, on a patients head, and the result is graphed on a slow moving sheet of continuous paper with a pen for each set of measurement points. We watched silently with a lump in our throat, as the technician methodically pasted what looked like rubber suction cups with a wire attached, to Jessica’s tiny head. She lay there looking as normal as apple pie, breathing slowly as she slept, in her tiny pink chiffon dress. The machine began to gently hum as paper cascaded slowly through the printer.     Holding my breath… Later, Renée, Charlotte and I sat waiting in Doctor William’s office, trying not to fidget. I was hopeful, but I couldn’t shake the memories of that Friday afternoon when everything had changed. Somehow I knew, although it was difficult to speak it, that something was, or had gone terribly wrong with little Jessica. The ‘blessed one’ I thought. How ironic. I was braced for the worst, although I hadn’t really expressed my fears to anyone else. The Marathon Begins… I had already committed in my mind that I would do everything I could to get to the ‘cure’ or whatever Jessica needed. I could sense a marathon of doctors, medicine, tests and machines awaiting us and perhaps we should give her therapy so that… the door quickly opened, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up into the somber face of Doctor Williams. He cleared his throat and began to speak the words I will never forget. “Well, I will get right to the point. Read more…