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Growing Up… with Jessica!
Growing up with Jessica… she fixed us, as we ‘grew up’ with her. So there you have it… a peek into Jessica’s life, and our lives. The true story. Renée and Jamie and Jon and Jessica and I, have been on this exciting adventure in ‘Jessica-land’ for many, many years now and it has sometimes been a wild ride. There have been the slow moments of mysterious anticipation, like a roller coaster climbing to the top of a precipice, and then a few giddy, giggly, light moments at the top, before you rush downward into the void with a goose bump popping rush. You rush right and left, up and down, barreling suddenly around a corner into the dark and out again into the blazing light. It is definitely not boring, if you know what I mean. From My Heart to Yours. I have done my very best for you. I have tried to give you an honest sample of how we have staggered on, and why and how. How we grew stronger, overcoming despair and ‘growing up’ right along with Jessica. As I said earlier, I may not know who you are or why you are reading this. However, I do know this. You and I may never pass this way again, and so I have shared the innermost thoughts of my heart with you to hopefully offer you the same hope that I have discovered. I am not ashamed to admit, that many times the tears came as I relived the good times and the bad, along with you. Our family is not somehow super special. We are just an ordinary family in extraordinary circumstances. True Love. Renée and I have discovered something vitally important. In fact, it is the most important discovery of our lives. It is what I call the ‘answers to life’. I mentioned before how Renée and I began to study the Bible, looking for answers to questions like, “Is GOD really out there?” or “Was the Bible TRUE?” or “What was REAL TRUE LOVE all about?” Well, as I have said, we found the answers to our questions. We found our Christian faith in God and it was the solid rock that we needed when the storms came. Renée and I, each in our own way, weathered the on-rushing waves of despair and anguish and fear and heartbreak. Read more…
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Hanging in There… the Long Haul!
Hanging in there… the long haul. In your life, has anyone you loved very, very much, ever died and left you grieving? Imagine, if you will, experiencing that feeling every single day of your life. Now you know what we have felt. I am not telling you this, so you will feel sorry for us, nor am I trying to be overly dramatic. I am just trying to find the words and the illustrations to communicate what it feels like, because in many ways… it is unspeakable. Even now after many years it is painful to relive the memories and the heartbreak through which we have traveled. It was a sometimes barren and forbidding landscape. The daily heartbreak alone, as it accumulates, is enough to destroy you. I have shared the unvarnished truth of our experience. Why We are Sharing Our Story. Of course, I don’t know why you are reading this book. Maybe you are just curious. Maybe you have had a similar journey in life. Maybe you are now facing a journey down a sudden road that you never planned to travel. Maybe it is you or your child, or a dear relative, or someone you love, that has entered into this new and perilous, unexpected world. It’s going to be a long, long and difficult journey. How can you hang in there? I do know why I am sharing our story. I want to help others. Maybe you are that one person who will be helped. If sharing our story and how we survived helps you, or someone you know, then I can say, “Hurray! It was worth the pain of reliving it! “ In the process of writing this book, I have shared it with many other people. Some of them knew us and some didn’t. Everywhere we go we find someone who has a need and we share our story with them and send them copies of the book in progress and they were touched and comforted and encouraged. We do rejoice in that. I have received a lot of feedback and suggestions. A number of people were curious as to the depth and breadth of our daily routine in caring for Jessica. Without belaboring the point, but to satisfy your curiosity, here is what we are dealing with daily. Our Daily Routine. Read more…
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A Major Surgery… the Confirmation of Love.
A major surgery… the confirmation of love. I walked slowly up the four flights of stairs, on my way to the pediatric critical care ward. Entering the shiny double doors, I paused to scrub up with disinfectant at the sink, and then made my way to the back corner room that had been Jessica’s home for the last 10 days. The curtain door was closed. There must be something going on I thought, as I quickened my pace. Quietly and slowly opening the door, I looked expectantly towards Jessica’s bed. Dr. Forester, stethoscope to her ears, looked up and smiled absentmindedly as she leaned over Jessica, carefully listening to her heart. Just a routine check-up I thought with relief, as the monitoring equipment attached to Jessica beeped rapidly in the background. I looked at Jessica lying there, with tubes and wires coming out all over her body, and a respirator covering her face and nose to help her breathe. Our eyes met. “Hi Jessica!” I said cheerfully. “How’s my girl?” As I reached out, and took her small delicate fingers in my hand, a thought came rushing back from the past, “…look, she has the hands of a pianist. She’s going to grow up to be a great concert pianist!” “That’s remarkable… just remarkable!” Doctor Forester exclaimed, interrupting my thoughts, as the insistent beeping rapidly declined, followed by a plummeting of Jessica’s vital sign numbers. I looked up and watched them tracing themselves in green, on the monitor. “Jessica sure knows her daddy! That really is remarkable!” the doctor finished. Surprised at her comments, I looked at Dr. Forester. She was looking at me in amazement, a broad smile on her youthful face. Stalled in the Critical Infant Care Unit. (CICU) We had met Dr. Forester as a part of the brilliant surgical team, that had operated on Jessica. Her speciality is ‘Pediatric Cardiology.’ That’s a ‘heart doctor for little kids.’ We liked her almost immediately and the tender way that she interacted with Jessica. She was a young, but excellent doctor, now doing follow up in the hospital. Jessica was recovering from major surgery. One of the physical ailments that comes with the territory, when you have a developmentally delayed child, is something called ‘scoliosis’ of the spine. Read more…